


maybe i should've told you

by cascountsdeansfreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Voicemail confession, cas finds out, cas just came back to life, sam hates it here, set the night that cas woke up from the empty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cascountsdeansfreckles/pseuds/cascountsdeansfreckles
Summary: Cas stretches out on his bed, sighing deeply as he finally relaxes. For someone who was just dead, he’s absolutely exhausted. He rubs his face and reaches for his cellphone, planning to catch up on his messages before taking a very long nap. To his surprise, he has multiple missed calls from Dean and one voicemail from him on top of that. The line beeps for a moment before his voicemail opens up.“Hey, Cas.” He smiles at the sound of Dean’s voice. The smile slips from his face as his friend continues.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 132





	maybe i should've told you

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited and I wrote it in like half an hour, based off of this tweet that I saw from mishasdiary on twitter https://twitter.com/mishasdiary/status/1252019139230732289?s=20
> 
> As always thank you for reading I love you guys and drop comments if you want a follow up with Castiel's reaction :)

Cas stretches out on his bed, sighing deeply as he finally relaxes. For someone who was just dead, he’s absolutely exhausted. He rubs his face and reaches for his cellphone, planning to catch up on his messages before taking a very long nap. To his surprise, he has multiple missed calls from Dean and one voicemail from him on top of that. The line beeps for a moment before his voicemail opens up.

“Hey, Cas.” He smiles at the sound of Dean’s voice. The smile slips from his face as his friend continues. “I ditched Sammy and the kid. God, I needed some space. Just for a while. Every time I look at him I see you and it makes me feel sick. I--I miss you. And I know you’ll never get this message but I…I feel like I can’t breathe here without you, man. I keep on turning over our last couple days in my head, and I just wish I could take it all back. Why--I didn’t think--I was a dick, Cas. Okay? You were right the whole time, too.” Cas sits up, eyes wide. Even though this message was sent to his phone, he knows Dean didn’t mean for him to hear it. He feels like he’s eavesdropping on something private. “I was scared I was going to lose you.” Dean lets out a bitter laugh. “I guess I lost you anyway, huh? I dunno...Sam lost you too, and he seems fine. So why am I so fucked in the head?”

The line goes quiet. Cas almost checks whether or not Dean had hung up, but then he continues.

“But he didn’t really lose what I lost, did he? You two didn’t have quite so much unfinished business. You knew, though, didn’t you? I didn’t think I needed to tell you. I guess I wasn’t so good at showing it. Maybe I should’ve told you.” Cas is shaking. He raises his hand to his mouth, waiting for Dean to continue. “Cas, I--”

“Dean? Where the hell are you, dude? We gotta go!” Cas recognizes Sam’s muffled voice. Before he knows it, Dean is cursing and hanging up and suddenly, his voicemail box is empty.

“No,” Cas mutters. “No, what were you going to tell me?”

Silence answers him.

He feels his legs moving on their own and he lets them take him to the kitchen. He can hear Sam and Dean talking loudly, so he walks faster. When he pushes the door open, his phone clenched in his still-shaking hand, they both look up at him. Sam just glances at him, but Dean half-rises from his seat and raises his eyebrows concernedly.

“Is everything okay?” Dean asks at the same time that Cas says, “Dean, can I talk to you?”

Cas somehow finds the strength to hold his gaze. Sam clears his throat awkwardly and excuses himself. Cas steps out of his way to let him pass. When he’s gone, Dean sits down again and spreads his hands expectantly. Cas falls into Sam’s vacant seat.

“You called me while I was dead,” he says matter of factly. Dean breathes deeply and drops his gaze to his hands.

“I did.” He looks up at Cas through his eyelashes, an open gaze that takes Cas apart from the inside. “I gotta be honest, I just needed to hear your voice. So I’d call and let it ring out to hear your outgoing voicemail message. I missed ya, buddy, for real.” Buddy. The word sticks and makes something in Cas tick in annoyance.

“You left me a voicemail,” he says, keeping his voice as flat as he can. His breath catches, but Dean seems to be too busy surveying the ceiling to notice.

“Did I? I don’t--I must’ve been drunk or something,” Dean mutters. Cas huffs. It’s enough to pull Dean’s gaze from the roof to look at Cas.

“You sounded pretty clear-headed to me, Dean.” Before the hunter can make some elaborate excuse, Cas sets his phone on the table with the voicemail open.

“Hey, Cas. I ditched Sammy and the kid…” Cas watches Dean, who watches the phone fixedly. He doesn’t look surprised by the existence of the voicemail, but he closes his eyes after a minute. “...but he didn’t really lose what I lost, did he?”

Dean makes a noise in the back of his throat and covers his eyes.

“Turn it off, Cas.” He doesn’t move.

“...maybe I should’ve told you…”

“Dammit, Cas, I said turn it off.” Dean reaches for the phone and Cas doesn’t stop him from shutting it off. The voicemail cuts off. “What the hell, man?”

“What were you going to tell me, Dean?” He feels like every muscle in his body is tensed, and his finger taps incessantly against his leg. He can’t get it to stop. They begin talking over each other, and the next few events happen in quick succession. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Dean gets to his feet. Cas follows suit.

“Yes, it does--”

“You were dead!”

“And I could be dead tomorrow, and you’re going to wish you had told me!”

Dean stares at him. Then, he’s moving towards him and there are hands cupping his face and lips pressing forcefully against his. He’s too stunned to react before Dean pulls away.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you,” Dean says, almost whispering. Cas stares at him, completely stunned. Then, as though he forgot, Dean mutters, “Castiel, you were dead.” And he’s gone. The kitchen door slams behind him. Cas doesn’t follow.


End file.
